I have made a decision. And this one takes even more courage and bravery. Today I drove down to Downtown Disney to buy some tops for my Bikram yoga classes. I like to wear stylish tops that remind me of my “happy” place! As I meandered around World of Disney I came across this one top that looked perfect for hot humid yoga! It’s a beautiful lightweight material with Minnie and it says “Please, I’m fabulous!”
BUT, it comes to just at/below my waistline, which means it doesn’t cover my stomach. I’ve always held a preference for longer tops–it’s almost as though if my stomach was covered it didn’t exist. As an aside, I don’t wear pants because I feel they show how big my stomach is and that makes me feel uncomfortable and fat.
I’ve come to think lately though that I need to accept myself and my body for exactly as it is now. I wouldn’t wear this top with bike shorts out in public (that would look just a wee bit trashy for me!) but for the inside of a very hot yoga room it’s a perfect fit. Besides it’s time for me to accept, really accept myself and my body exactly as it is in THIS MOMENT!! After all, that’s all we have.
So, with my heart pumping just a wee bit fast from nerves, I’ll walk into that 8:15p.m. Bikram Yoga class this Wednesday in my white bike shorts and my “fabulous” top, taking another step toward self-love and self-acceptance, and I’ll look at myself in the mirrored wall and see only love, pure love.