Numbers I Like


Some numbers I like! Some numbers I just don’t (but more about that in a later blog!). Having worked so darn hard over the past three years to create a better, stronger and healthier life for myself, I LOVE being able to wear designer clothes, fancy clothes, colorful clothes!

Actually, I always have worn colorful clothes, but I’ve had to purchase them from catalogs, specializing in larger sizes, and not from stores! Now, I can go into department stores and sometimes into boutiques and find clothes that fit me, that look good on me, that make me smile even more than I do now when I see myself in the mirror!

While shopping at the Dillard’s in the Scottsdale Fashion Square this past February I found two delightfully divine designer dresses. A size 20 Ralph Lauren floral print dress and a size 18 blue Calvin Klein dress! The size 20 (that’s a number I LOVE) Ralph Lauren fits now and looks stunning—well that’s how others have described me anyways! The Calvin Klein doesn’t quite fit, but came close enough for me to buy it!

Moments like these, shopping for designer clothes, keep me motivated to work harder at eating healthier, working out, and, yes, doing the BIkram. Watching my body change during the past year makes me aware of how much doing Bikram has toned my ENTIRE body. I can’t always feel it, but when I look at pictures I can see it! And that’s the coolest feeling there is!

Come walk the runway with me!! You’ll never know where it’ll take you!! And the next time you see me wearing the Calvin Klein dress, I’ll be wearing it out in public, which means my body will have melted away just a bit more!  And I’ll proudly tell people I’m wearing a size 18 Calvin Klein dress from Dillard’s!  That’s a number I LIKE!!!

BTW, it may look like the Calvin Klein dress fits, but it is a bit snug!

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Oh and I paid less than $35 for this dress on clearance!  Dang I look good in it!  Bought matching earrings too!  They cost $4!!!!


Calvin Klein

In the pic of the Calvin Klein dress from the side the loose skin hanging from my biceps makes the toning more evident!

Calvin Klein Side View


In the view of the back of the dress, I guess I’ll have to admit to myself that I really don’t have much back fat! Also, my calves look pretty darn shapely here!

Calvin Klein Back Image


Here I am rockin’ it in Ralph Lauren!!

Rocking it in a size 20 Ralph Lauren

Rocking it in a size 20 Ralph Lauren


Getting Rid of the OLD to Make Room for the Unknown NEW

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about underwear. What kind of underwear I wear. When I should wear my newer pairs versus my older pairs. Then a ligtbulb went on. And I understood. I got it.

The time has come for me to let go. Really let go. Of everything.

I’ve heard people say that how you conduct yourself in the yoga room is how you conduct yourself outside the yoga room, so when I decided to throw away/donate some of my old/too big clothes, I decided to look at my yoga/cycling/hiking wardrobe.

Intense physical activities, like Bikram yoga, cycling, hiking, wreak havoc on clothes with all the sweat and toxins that are released. Given the intense wear and tear on these clothes, I decided, at some point, to wear my old undies to workout in. Why would I wear newer undies in a Bikram class or for another workout when doing so would shorten their longevity.

Sometime last week I really started to think about how I wanted to do my best when engaging in any physical activity. “Why then” I asked myself “would I ever want to wear old baggy undies anywhere?”

So this morning as I was going through clothes, getting rid of “too big” and “I don’t feel good in this” clothes, I went through my undies and threw out the old ones, the too baggy ones, the ones that DON’T, for whatever reason, make me feel like the beautiful woman I am.

I’m keeping just a few items of larger clothing: the first designer dress I was able to buy at Nordie’s and a workout outfit I wore when I was likely near my heaviest, but the rest? They’re gone now.  Out of my apartment. Out of my space.

By the time you read this I will have donated a big bag of clothes and thrown away another bag of old undies. My body, my mind, and my spirit now have the space for all the wondrous soul-enriching experiences that await me! Throwing away old undies becomes, then a metaphor for tossing out that which no longer serves me, serves my soul.

P.S. I don’t recommend doing this at home unless you have new(er) undies to replace any you throw out!! Also, there was a time I wouldn’t have been able to go buy undies in a store and now I can!

P.P.S.S. Wear new undies when you work out. I can guarantee you’ll feel a new spring in your step and see a new sparkle in your eye! You’re worth it! I know I am!!

Here’s a couple of pics of the outfit I used to exercise in. At one point it JUST FIT me!!! (I’m not showing you pics of my old undies:))



IF you’d like, please feel free to follow my daily journey on facebook via my community fitness page:

and my personal facebook page:

7 Days Without Processed Sugar; 7 Days With Me

Sitting in my office yesterday with one of my office mates, Terrie, our conversation about health care somehow turned into a discussion of processed sugars and how awful and yucky and tired they make us feel. Before either of us knew what we were doing, we made a pact to avoid ANY and ALL PROCESSED SUGARS for SEVEN DAYS!!!  We made plans to report back to each other during our office hours next Tuesday, October 29th.  I left the office fully of giddiness at the adventure that awaited me, not fully realizing the ramifications of my decision until a few hours later.

After school, I had a bit of time before meeting a friend for dinner, so I decided to go clothes shopping. I didn’t really think I’d find anything—I’m a summer girl and prefer to wear a summer/spring wardrobe all year round. As I browsed through the store a neon lime green pencil straight skirt caught my eye.  I HAD to try it on.  I LOVE lime green, as did my father.

As I stared at the image of myself wearing the neon creation, I didn’t see myself in the mirror; rather, I saw a misshapen green blob that belonged in a D-level horror movie. In those moments, all the hard work I’d done on myself disappeared, and I wanted to eat, to eat sugar: candy, chocolate, cookies, oreos, any food with sugar, but not just one serving, multiple servings. This self-improvement project I’m on suddenly felt as though it wasn’t going anywhere.


But I’d made a commitment, I’d made a promise, and not just to Terrie, I’d made it to myself. In a year that has brought me a sea of changes, I desired even more, especially one that would take more in the direction of my dreams. My food addict brain and heart, though, had other crafty clever ideas, such is the nature of addiction.

I’d promised no processed sugars, but I didn’t promise no overeating, no over-indulging. If I couldn’t make myself feel better with processed sugars I could do it by simply overeating, overeating ANY FOOD! Consuming too much of any food would take the pain away, well not really. It would just mask it, and my addict brain wanted very much to mask the pain, the pain of so much, yet so little. Food has been my best friend, lover, constant companion for so long that letting go, really letting go—well I can’t quite describe that but it’s another layer of loss, of mourning but also of celebration.

My rational brain and heart knew that I’d come too far to go back, so I woke up with another plan, another idea: for the next seven days, I’d share my food with the world, so that’s what I’ll do. I don’t plan on being perfect. I don’t promise not to over-indulge, but I’ve jumped off too many proverbial cliffs and thrived beyond my wildest imagination.

So, for the next seven days, on my fb page I’ll post reports and or pics of my food. It’ll be another step in my journey to reach my goals, to be healthier, and in that NO ONE, not even ME can/will stop me!

Here’s a pic of  Wednesday morning’s brekkie:



Yoga Clothes for THIS/MY Body!

Not too long ago I spied the most gorgeous colorful two-piece yoga outfit at Bikram Yoga Marina Del Rey, one of the places I practice.  The top was a bright beautiful yellow, and the bottom—a perky pretty PINK, but, of course, they came in “tiny” people sizes, a fact I lamented with overt vociferousness!

“They NEVER make yoga clothes for women MY size.” “It’s impossible to find CUTE clothes for ME to wear to yoga.” The list of complaints went on ad infinitum……………………………It’s true, mind you, that finding COLORFUL workout clothes in any size over 12 takes GREAT effort, and is almost impossible. But clothing discrimination is a subject I’ll tackle later.

Part of me prefers black workout clothes because I feel they hide my body, well, to be more specific my stomach.  Black does have a slimming effect.  I don’t wear much black in my daily life, but when it comes to the workout room, it’s my color of choice.  Well, it WAS.

Scouring the Internet one day I found some pinkish purplish bike shorts, and then I found a YELLOW Champion sports bra. I HAD found a COLORFUL yoga outfit in MY size.  I didn’t know what to do—actually I did—I bought it, of course.  Then I had to wear it.

Putting it on for the first time felt odd, felt weird. When I looked in the mirror I saw my body for what it was. Saw its lumps, curves—SAW IT!  I didn’t feel necessarily comfortable wearing it in public, but what choice did I have? I always tell my students that all we have is this moment, so all I have is this moment. All I have is THIS BODY.

So I own it. I celebrate it. I wear my new outfit.  It’s bright; it’s happy; it’s colorful; it’s ME.  And I wouldn’t be anybody else but ME!  Sure, I might want a skinnier smaller body, but a wise person once said “an easy life is not a victorious life.” I’m not always sure where the road I’m on is leading, but I’m learning to enjoy it and LIVE IT, one moment at a time.

Here’s to me! Here’s to my new yoga outfit!