When Size Matters

Size matters, or does it?

Last week while shopping for shoes, I insisted that I needed a wide shoe. The clerk told me they only had one style in wide, so, on a whim, I told her I’d try several 10 mediums, along with the one 10 wide.  Much to my surprise the 10 mediums not only fit, but they fit well.  The sides of my feet did not roll over the edge. Plus, my feet felt more comfortable in the mediums than the wide. To make sure of this I walked around the store in the shoes for about 15-20 minutes. After all, how could a medium fit well and be comfy?

When I think of my body changing through my fitness and eating efforts, I don’t conceive of my feet changing, but apparently they have!  I don’t expect to always fit into a medium (it’s not like shoes have standard sizes, after all!), but I have to let go of my preconceptions of what size WILL fit me.

Fast forward to last night at Macy’s. They were having an amazing sale—I know this because I go there more frequently than I’ll admit. I saw this gorgeous red coat. I tried it on in a size 22 and the arms fit but the rest just made me look fat. Trust me it did.  I went home sooooooo depressed……….

But this little voice said “go back to the store. Go back.” So I went back. This time I tried on a size 18.  It actually fit better!  It looked good on me!  The arms fit too. (My arms are on the big side so that is often a litmus test for me).  Now I will say the coat doesn’t quite close completely in front, but I actually prefer that look in most cases, and definitely in this case.

That night I also decided to try on a 0x sweater vest and it also fit.

During the course of my shopping adventures earlier in the week I tried on some cute sale clothes in sizes I THOUGHT would fit, but these clothes SWAM on me. 

I feel sometimes like my head is swirling in a vastly unknown vortex of possibilities. Nothing fits me the way it should. Nothing is the way it was. And I don’t know how it is now.

The last time I went to Disneyland I bought a sundress in an XL.  It’s an A-line with an elastic top. I wasn’t sure it would fit but if it didn’t now it would soon. I tried it on the other night and it FIT.  I can wear it now if I want.

So does size matter? Does the number on a label matter? I don’t think so. BUT, I do feel better knowing the work I’m doing on my body translates into smaller clothing sizes. It’s so strange to let go of the known and step into the unknown. Sometimes I feel like hiding under a rock because it seems like the changes in my life are coming so quickly, and at a lightning fast pace.

But I’ve stayed under that rock for too long.  Far too long. It’s time to celebrate me and the positive changes I’m experiencing. It’s time to embrace the idea that my body is becoming more of what it’s mean to be. That I’m becoming more of whom I’m meant to be.

That’s the lesson of the red coat. And how it’s teaching me that size really doesn’t matter. Mindset does. 



Nancy’s Nifty Homemade Trail Mix

I have a goal in mind for this week, and reaching that goal requires planning!  When I go about my days, I don’t always take the time to pre-plan meals and snacks, but I’ve decided to change that!  After yoga this morning I went to Sprouts and bought ingredients to make my own trail mix.  I’ve been inspired lately by friends who make their own, and I thought to myself “why not?” If I make my own trail mix I can control the contents and, more importantly, pick ingredients I want to eat!

I perused the aisles and picked the following: hot wasabi peas, golden berries, pumpkorn dusted with dark cocoa, raw almonds, unsweetened coconut slivers, date pieces, and edamame with goji berries. When I got home I pulled out a variety of measuring cups and a big red bowl.  After all, I wanted to know how much I was eating as well as what I was eating!

Here’s how my homemade trail mix measured up (per serving of each ingredient):

Hot wasabi peas: 120 calories, 3 grams of fiber

Pumpkorn: 140 calories, 2 grams of fiber

Raw almonds: 170 calories, 4 grams of fiber

Unsweetened coconut: 80 calories, 2 grams of fiber

Date pieces: 120 calories, 3 grams of fiber

Edamame with goji berries: 120 calories, 7 grams of fiber

Golden Berries: 80 calories, 3 grams of fiber

Total: 830 calories, 24 grams of fiber

I decided to separate it into 4 servings, so I’d have ready— made snacks for my power week! That means each serving of Nancy’s Nifty Trail Mix will have 207.5 calories and 6 grams of fiber, and I’ll enjoy EVERY BITE—that’s the best and healthiest thing I could do for myself!  (and as a side note, I have a healthy array of snacks in my pantry!)







Perfecting a Pleasing and Healthy Pantry

As part of my quest for better/improved health I decided the time had come for me to clean out and ascertain the contents of my pantry, so that I would know exactly what I had to eat.  I wanted to see if there were expired items that I needed to throw out (there were); I wanted to see if there were unhealthy items I wanted to throw out (the verdict hasn’t come in on that one yet), but most of all I just wanted to know exactly what I had, so that I could see how it fit into an eating plan that would give me even more energy and even better health, more stamina in the yoga room, more vibrancy in the classroom, more stillness in meditation, more speed on the treadmill—you get the picture).

During the past two days I took every food item out of my pantry for an evaluation.  (as an aside I have a LARGE pantry, and I want to make better use of it, and not just have it be a junk collection station).  Here are some of my observations, item by item:

1)      Best Foods Light mayonnaise: ever since I moved to this apartment I keep buying mayonnaise thinking I’ll make some egg salad ( I do love a good quality homemade egg salad), but I have yet to make egg salad, so I end up throwing out the mayo when it expires and buying a new one.

2)      Target’s Market Pantry light syrup: who is kidding who here?  I have an addiction to sugar.  When I make pancakes, which isn’t very often, they are more of an excuse to drown them in sugar. After eating the pancakes (aka syrup) I usually go into a sugar coma and sleep for days…..I haven’t made pancakes since I moved to this apartment, and I’m not sure I made them in my last apartment, but I keep buying the syrup, just like I keep buying the mayo……

3)      Trader Joe’s Portobello mushroom soup and Campbell’s mushroom soup (yes, they are both vegetarian): well I bought these thinking I’d cook them with some potatoes and veggies, but have yet to do that, and I think, in actuality, that it might make a rather heavy meal.

4)      Pumpkin Oatmeal: well I pared it down from 6 boxes to 2, so that’s something!

5)      Pickled beets and garbanzo beans and black beans: items hanging around for salads.

6)      Trader Joe’s salsa verde: awesome when mixed with corn tortillas, cheese and eggs.

7)      Ortega green chiles and Las Palmas enchilada verde sauce: yummy for enchilada pie…..

8)      Raw organic coconut butter and raw organic almond butter: arguably the healthiest items in my pantry. The coconut butter tastes awesome plain and the almond butter works well for some extra protein in smoothies.

9)      Artichoke and garlic whipped mustard: bought this in Monterey in June. Haven’t opened it yet, but I remember it was rather tasty.

There are other items in the pictures, but you get the picture! I’m trying to work toward a healthier style of eating, and I’m not always sure where it needs to go. I feel like it’s a constant experiment. I want to eat fresher and healthier foods, but that requires going to the grocery store more frequently, and I have to be careful. When I’m feeling emotional, which is most of the time I tend to stray toward more processed foods, like candy bars. If could eat just one it wouldn’t be a problem, but I tend to eat and want to eat more than just one.

I feel better and healthier when I eat fresh raw foods. My body responds to them more positively. My mood is elevated. My spirit is happier. So that’s more of my aim at the moment, one meal at a time. Sometimes I do okay, and sometimes I just do, but I’m getting there, and, in the end, that’s all that counts.

Oh, and, at the very least my pantry is better organized and clean, so now I do know exactly what I have………

Pantry Before:


Contents of Pantry:


Pantry After: