I’m in the process of moving my blog to http://confessionsofayogaprincess.wordpress.com/
Until the process is complete, end of summer 2014, I’ll be posting duplicate entries in both blogs.
I am limitless. You are limitless. I spend a lot of time thinking about limitlessness and what it means to be limitless.
I often push my limits physically and am surprised by the results. This past Wednesday I challenged myself in a new way. I went to a spinning class before my usual double Bikram session. I’ve done spinning before at my local 24 Hour Fitness, but I’d never been to a place that specializes in spinning (Soul Cycle).
From the get go I knew this experience would be different. My yoga instructor speaks quite highly of the spinning instructor, MB, so I rightly figured the workout would be challenging, and I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge.
I’m kind of all over the place with this blog entry, but here’s the deal: I sweated from pores I didn’t know I had in that class. The pores on my scalp and forehead cried tears of sweat into my eyes. Parts of my nether regions spoke to me in ways I’d never heard before. My mind and emotions raged out of control, bringing up depths of “stuff” I’d rather not have felt, but I didn’t stop moving my legs—not once did I stop.
I made every effort to keep up with the movements. I had trouble pulsing my torso as my legs spun round and round but I made the best effort I could. Imagine doing wall push-ups while furiously cycling and you’ll have an inkling of my experience. When it came time to bring out the weights I could have feigned exhaustion and not reached for them, but I didn’t. I grabbed my weights and kept up as best I could.
By the time the class ended my body dripped with sweat. I felt a certain numbing bliss. I also felt strange uncomfortable emotions brewing. On her bio MB says “exercise is therapy” and she’s right. Loren’s also said many times “yoga heals” and he’s right too. Our bodies, my body teaches me so much about the type of person I want to be, the type of person my soul longs to be.
But I’m not at the part about limitlessness yet. After the spin class I went and nourished my body with some juice before my double Bikram classes. When the day began I didn’t know how I’d make it through a spin class and two Bikram classes, but I’m also the woman who once did four Bikram classes in one day.
I surprised myself that night by the lessons the physical exertion taught me. As I neared the end of the first Bikram class I gave up on the final twisting pose and Loren asked me if the problem was in the body or the head, and I told him the truth (‘cause I can’t, and wouldn’t lie to him)—my head, so he said get up and do the pose. And I did.
That moment, along with the second Bikram class that night taught me some valuable lessons about limitlessness, my limitlessness. When I decided to sit out that pose, my mind wanted to limit me. My mind said, “you’re too sweaty, too slippery, too tired for that pose. That pose doesn’t matter. Just rest.” My body had the ability to work, to attempt the pose.
I realized in that moment that my mind really works diligently at limiting my actions, in the sweat room and outside the sweat room. Sure, there are times when I need to sit out a pose, but I know when I do that I really need to check in with myself and see if it’s my mind or my body.
The same holds true outside the room. I spend too much time thinking, overthinking and that’s my mind limiting my joy. How can I be joyful if I’m not in the moment? I know me well enough to know that if I’m thinking I’m not in the moment.
I experienced so many profound realizations about myself on Wednesday. I can do anything if I push my mind out of the way. That includes the art of just being. I need to make a greater effort just to be.
I owe so much of my recent transformations to time I spend in the hot room, and so many of those transformations can’t be seen, for they aren’t physical. I used to have the hardest time just speaking my mind about the simplest of things and now when some situation doesn’t feel right to me my body and soul speak to me and give the courage to speak my mind. I hold my self back much less than I used to. I express my self more, even when it’s difficult. I’m learning I can do absolutely anything.
It may not always be easy, but these days it’s always better because I’m learning the art of being me, of being with me and of being okay with me, and that’s something I can’t put a price tag on.
I’m limitless. So are you. To believe otherwise is to let the madness of the ego-mind win. I’m not going to let my mind win anymore. Don’t let yours win either!
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